Sherrone Moore Finally Signs Contract: A Comedy of Errors

Breaking News: Michigan Wolverines head coach Sherrone Moore has finally signed a contract after coaching the first two games of the season without one. Yes, you read that right. He was essentially freelancing as a head coach.

The Backstory: Moore, the former offensive coordinator, stepped up to the plate after Jim Harbaugh decided to chase the sunny skies and surfboards of Los Angeles to coach the Chargers. Harbaugh left behind a national title and a pair of khakis that will forever be remembered.

The Contract Drama: The two sides agreed to the framework of a deal back in January. But, like a Netflix series with too many seasons, it took forever to wrap up. Moore’s contract is a five-year deal with a base salary of $500,000 and $5 million in additional compensation in Year 1. That’s a lot of zeros for a guy who was coaching on a handshake and a promise.

Bonuses Galore: Moore is set to receive $3.5 million in bonuses, including $500,000 for winning a conference championship and a cool $1 million for winning the national championship. His buyout starts at $5 million and decreases by $1 million each year, which sounds like a game show prize structure.

Moore’s Reaction: “I am excited to have this full contract completed,” Moore said, probably while doing a happy dance. “Their support for our team is greatly appreciated and all three of us are aligned in our goals for this football program.” Wait, three? Is there a secret coach we don’t know about?

Current Season: Michigan is 1-1 after losing to Texas 31-12 last weekend at home. Ouch. But hey, there’s always next Saturday when they face Arkansas State. Go Wolverines!

Stay tuned for more episodes of “As the Contract Turns.”