Homage of the Week
Hotty Toddy Training Tent
Another way of conveying an honorable mention is an homage. In this weekly article we will be paying homage to the weirdest or funniest moment in college sports from the weekend, aside from the obviously stupid things sports fans do. Those moments speak for themselves. These are the moments that really stand out as head scratchers.
According to the world wide interwebs (and the National Institute of Health) the average number of injuries in a college football game is approximately 9. That means a little more than two players total go down per quarter between both teams. God bless the Ole Miss training staff.
Over the last 3 games against Power 5 opponents Ole Miss had 29 players go down with “injuries”. Now, I don’t want to minimize any legitimate injuries, and at least of couple of these were legit. However, in those games Ole Miss is averaging almost 10 injuries per game by themselves when the rest of the country is having approximately 9 injuries between both teams combined. There also seems to be a strong correlation between Ole Miss’ injuries and opponents first downs. Imagine that. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
We have all seen the videos of Ole Miss players walking back to the huddle after a big play by an opponent and then being picked off by a sniper who knocks them off their feet instantaneously. Ironically, it appears the sniper is always somewhere near the Ole Miss sideline. Weird. In rushes the Ole Miss training staff. These men and women should be applauded. Their quick reactions and thorough care for their patient somehow gets said patients back in the game, sometimes by the very next play. Amazing work by this crew.
I would be remiss if I didn’t also point out the injury tent on the sideline. I don’t know what the Ole Miss training staff has in there but it’s nothing short of miraculous. Maybe it’s Mr. Miyagi applying an Okinawan health grip. Possibly it’s Jesus himself healing these young women…. I mean…. men. Regardless, that tent is a place of miracles, and the Ole Miss administration should guard it at all costs.
Of course, there are also the fakers. I’m not saying all 29 over the last 3 games were faking (even when it looked like it), but everyone must admit the math isn’t mathing. Thankfully, Lane Kiffin will assuredly discipline the young men who would disrespect the game by faking an injury for the sole purpose of gaining a defensive advantage. Just kidding, that was total sarcasm. We know the coaching staff is encouraging this. Sometimes when I watch the Ole Miss’ defense I keep expecting Michael Scott to show up and say, “Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever” just to distract us from the players dropping.
In the midst of all of this, we tip our hat to the training staff. Imagine having to diagnose injuries with a whole team of players crying wolf. They never know what they’re going to encounter. Is it a real injury, or is it something that could be treated by Tim Walz restroom supplies? We may never know. What we do know is the Ole Miss training staff has a thankless job.