From Coordinator to Head Coach: The NFL's Version of 'Promoted to Fail'

Ah, the NFL. A league where dreams are made, hearts are broken, and coordinators are promoted to head coaching jobs only to realize they’ve been handed a ticking time bomb. It’s like getting a promotion from assistant to the regional manager to regional manager—except instead of paper sales, you’re dealing with grown men who bench press small cars and cry when they drop a football. So, how many NFL coordinators have actually succeeded as head coaches? Let’s dive into the chaos.

Offensive Coordinators: The Golden Children

Offensive coordinators (OCs) are the NFL’s equivalent of the teacher’s pet. They’re the ones drawing up plays that make fans go, “Wow, that was cool!” and owners go, “Wow, that’ll sell tickets!” Over the past five years, former OCs have a collective winning percentage of .542, which is basically the NFL’s way of saying, “Eh, they’re doing okay.”

Take Sean McVay, for example. The man went from calling plays for the Redskins (sorry, *Commanders*) to leading the Rams to a Super Bowl win. He’s basically the NFL’s version of a Silicon Valley prodigy—young, innovative, and somehow still has hair. Then there’s Doug Pederson, who won a Super Bowl with the Eagles by calling a trick play so audacious it made everyone forget he was once a backup quarterback. (Seriously, look it up.)

But not every OC is a McVay or Pederson. Some are more like Nathaniel Hackett, who lasted less than a season with the Broncos before being fired faster than you can say, “Why did we hire the guy who rode Aaron Rodgers’ coattails?”

Defensive Coordinators: The Red-Headed Stepchildren

If OCs are the golden children, defensive coordinators (DCs) are the ones who get stuck with the hand-me-downs. Their collective winning percentage as head coaches is a dismal .415, which is basically the NFL’s way of saying, “Bless their hearts.”

DeMeco Ryans of the Texans is the exception, not the rule. He’s the one DC who’s actually winning games, which is like being the only person at a party who knows how to dance. Meanwhile, guys like Robert Saleh (Jets) and Dan Quinn (Falcons, Cowboys) have had moments of brilliance—Quinn even made it to a Super Bowl—but ultimately, their tenures feel like a rollercoaster that ends with everyone throwing up.

Their collective winning percentage as head coaches is a dismal .415, which is basically the NFL’s way of saying, “Bless their hearts.”

The problem with DCs is that they’re used to dealing with defense, which is all about stopping fun. But as a head coach, you have to manage the whole team, including the offense, which is where the fun happens. It’s like asking a bouncer to run a nightclub—sure, he can keep the troublemakers out, but can he pick the DJ?

The Coordinator Curse: Why So Many Fail

Here’s the thing: being a coordinator is like being the sous chef at a fancy restaurant. You’re great at making the sauce, but can you run the whole kitchen? Spoiler alert: probably not.

Coordinators often struggle with the broader responsibilities of being a head coach. Game management? Player development? Media pressure? It’s a lot. Imagine going from being the guy who designs the playbook to the guy who has to explain to the owner why your star quarterback just threw four interceptions in a single game. (Looking at you, Matt Nagy.)

And let’s not forget the organizational support—or lack thereof. Some coordinators get promoted to head coach only to realize they’ve been handed a roster held together by duct tape and prayers. It’s like being given the keys to a Ferrari, only to find out it’s out of gas and the brakes don’t work.

The Big Five’s Shadow

Only two coordinators under the “Big Five” head coaches (Belichick, Reid, Tomlin, Harbaugh, Carroll) have won a Super Bowl as head coaches: Doug Pederson and Bruce Arians. That’s like being the only two students from your high school to make it big in Hollywood. The rest? Well, let’s just say they’re still waiting for their big break.

The problem is that working under a legendary coach doesn’t always prepare you for the hot seat. It’s like being an intern for Gordon Ramsay—you might learn how to cook, but that doesn’t mean you can handle a kitchen full of screaming chefs and picky customers.

The Future: Offense Wins, Defense… Tries

The NFL is an offensive league now, which means OCs are in high demand. Teams want the next McVay or Kyle Shanahan, not the next defensive guru who’s going to bore everyone to death with a 17-14 final score. (Sorry, Bill Belichick.)

But here’s the thing: being a successful head coach isn’t just about Xs and Os. It’s about leadership, communication, and the ability to keep your cool when your star player tweets something controversial at 2 a.m. So, while OCs might have the edge right now, the real key to success is being the kind of coach players want to run through a wall for—or at least not roll their eyes at during team meetings.

The NFL’s Ultimate Gamble

Promoting a coordinator to head coach is like buying a lottery ticket. Sometimes you hit the jackpot (McVay, Pederson), and sometimes you end up with a crumpled piece of paper that says, “Better luck next time.” But hey, that’s the NFL for you—a league where the only thing more unpredictable than the games is the coaching carousel.

So, to all the coordinators out there dreaming of becoming head coaches: good luck. You’re gonna need it. And maybe a few more trick plays.