Well, it happened. Luka Doncic is a Los Angeles Laker. The NBA world has officially lost its mind. Mark Cuban probably hasn’t slept in days, Mavs fans are in shambles, and Lakers fans are already declaring a five-peat. Meanwhile, ESPN has effectively turned into the “All Luka, All The Time” network.
Now that we’ve entered this new era of NBA chaos, let’s take a step back and ask the big question: what would be the college football equivalent of this madness? Because a trade of this magnitude doesn’t just shake up a league—it alters reality.
Nick Saban Leaves Alabama… for Auburn
Luka was the Dallas Mavericks. The entire franchise revolved around him, and now he’s gone. That’s the same level of devastation Alabama fans would feel if Nick Saban pulled a midnight exit and took over at Auburn.
Tuscaloosa would descend into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. The Bear Bryant statue? Gone. The Paul Finebaum Show? Now a support group for grieving Bama fans. Meanwhile, Auburn fans would instantly forgive every insult they’ve ever hurled at Saban. “We’ve always loved Nick!” they’d say, while commissioning a 40-foot bronze statue of him in Jordan-Hare.
Caleb Williams Transfers to Ohio State Instead of Going Pro
Luka’s trade didn’t just break Dallas—it created a new superpower in Los Angeles. So, imagine if Caleb Williams, instead of heading to the NFL, announced he was coming back for one more year… at Ohio State.
USC fans would have been completely unhinged. Lincoln Riley would have been answering questions about this at press conferences for years. Meanwhile, Buckeye Nation would be intolerable—we’re talking immediate national championship predictions, constant highlight reels, and at least three fan-made statues on campus before he even plays a snap.
And Michigan fans? They’d pretend it didn’t bother them, but deep down, they’d be sweating harder than Harbaugh during an NCAA investigation.
Texas and Oklahoma Merge into One Super-Team
The Lakers didn’t just acquire Luka; they consolidated power. The NBA has officially shifted, and now everyone else is playing catch-up. The only way to match that in college football? Texas and Oklahoma don’t just join the SEC… they merge into one unstoppable force.
The team name? The TexaHoma LongSooners. Their mascot? A combination of Bevo and the Sooner Schooner, fused into one terrifying beast. Their boosters? The wealth of two entire oil industries combined.
SEC fans would riot. Alabama, Georgia, and LSU would form an emergency alliance. The NCAA would look at this and, as usual, do absolutely nothing.
So, What’s the Verdict?
Luka Doncic leaving Dallas is the kind of move that alters the NBA forever. In college football, that means Saban flipping to Auburn, a superstar QB defecting to a rival, or two powerhouse programs combining into one.
One thing’s for sure—sports will never be the same. And somewhere, Paul Finebaum is yelling into a microphone about it.